“When I embarked on my fellowship journey, i felt confident that staying away from home for such a long period will be easy”
While applying for India Fellow the thought of being away from home for such a long time seemed like a small part of the larger fellowship journey. I thought of it to be a start of an adventure. One that would allow me to dive into diverse professional opportunities and challenges, while helping me become independent. However, the first two weeks threw multiple curveballs at me. These made me rethink about the step I had taken in life.
In facing these, there has somehow been the rise of a hiding hand out of the unsuspected difficulties. This has helped me to continue looking at the brighter side and gain confidence of continuing this journey.
Expectations Versus Reality
I reached the India Fellow induction venue, Krishi Vigyan Kendra in Badgaon — a village located in close proximity to Udaipur city — with a hope to dive into a transformational journey. I envisioned a smooth transition filled with growth and learning experiences. As the days passed, the reality of being away from the familiar comforts of home hit hard.
Certain comforts I had access to all my life as a person born and bred in a metro city suddenly vanished. From the hot shower at night to the comfort of having a separate room, were replaced with a room with no electricity, a bucket of cold water and a week without internet. When I first set out, I was filled with enthusiasm, ready to change the world, one tea break at a time. I had this vision of myself adapting to a new environment with absolutely no effort, seeing it as a blend of adventurous escape and professional growth.
***Spoiler Alert: Reality has other plans.
Instead of the exotic new experiences I had pictured, I found myself in a constant battle with the cold water in the shower, bland meals that needed a pep talk and a schedule that felt more like a strenuous drill than a stretched multi-day conference on social work – as I expected it to be. All this soon made me realise that staying away from home was not really an adventurous escape! It was a challenge to get out of bed, let alone out of my comfort zone.
Internet Service: Unreachable
After a few days of trying to keep up with the bland food, untimely water supply and a few hectic days, the ultimate challenge came forward; the suspension of internet services in the Udaipur city and nearby areas after an untoward incident taking place which had raised the fear of communal tensions in the district. This added fuel to the fire by increasing the challenges that were already quite difficult to cope with in the fellowship. For a boy from Mumbai who had access 24/7, suddenly having no access to any form of internet for five long days was truly a challenge.
Facing all other problems was still fine, but losing connectivity to the whole world felt much bigger. I lost the ability to look up what’s happening at a click and couldn’t even Google words I didn’t understand during induction. The utility of my mobile phone had just dropped to becoming a simple phone that just answered and made calls.
All of this together felt like a huge burden, constant self-questioning and irritation from the situation didn’t take me anywhere. Questions around the decision to take up a 1.5 year long stint away from home to work at grassroots, turning away job offers, not getting a master’s degree and others kept coming to me but then came a hiding hand from the middle of this crisis that reinstated the belief in my decision to take this leap.
The Glimmer Of Hope
The induction process of India Fellow was a lifeline, amidst the chaos of adapting. The sessions offered guidance like sunlight breaking through a dense fog. They opened the development sector to us and taught us everything to equip us with enough skills and knowledge to embark on our journeys ahead. Our mentors were constantly pushing all of us to step up and become better at openness to learning and collective action. Their support and guidance acted as answers to many questions that popped in my mind.
The session on farmer’s distress and meaning of development were key to shifting my focus back from petty personal problems to the harsh ground realities of rural India.
This reiterated the purpose with which I had come here in the first place, aiding the process of Antyodaya: “upliftment of the last person”, to work alongside those often overlooked by society, as part of a social organization driving impact on the ground.
Antyodaya
Through this experience, I aim to understand the complexities of the development sector, not by working for people, but by working with them, respecting their wisdom and ensuring that their voices are at the heart of the change we seek.
This session helped me realise that it’s okay to delay some personal milestones and make small sacrifices to work alongside those I am passionate about. Instead of seeing it as ‘help,’ I now understand it as collaboration—walking with people on their path to upliftment, in alignment with the principle of Antyodaya. This was the final bell, reinforcing my belief that I am in the right place at the right time. I am committed to putting in all my efforts to ensure this journey is meaningful and impactful for everyone involved.
The silver lining of this whole process has been meeting other fellows, this turned out to be one of the biggest surprises. I was worried I’d be surrounded by strangers who were all stiff and serious, but instead, I found a group of people who were just as confused and overwhelmed as I was. We bonded over our shared struggles – like trying to make the most of the limited free time and coping with the bland food.
‘We’ Before ‘I’
A pivotal moment for our group came when one of our mentors confronted us with a challenge – we weren’t open or comfortable enough with each other as a team. It was an uncomfortable truth, especially since the segregation between boys and girls had become quite clear. Whether in the classroom or the mess hall, we naturally drifted apart, rarely sitting together. This divide made it difficult to form a cohesive bond as a cohort. Realizing this, we decided to step out of our comfort zones and spend more time together outside of formal settings, hoping that socializing beyond the classroom would break down these invisible walls and help us connect on a deeper level.
Here on, we were not just strangers sitting in a class together but allies trying to support each other in this tricky initial part of the long journey we had signed up for. Right from communicating more over the dinner table to actually trying to know the other person made it easy to cope with the whole process.
That moment changed the track of how I felt things were going in the induction journey of India Fellow. It was a great way to connect and laugh about our situation. These bonds have become a crucial support system and made the whole experience enjoyable. With a diverse group of individuals — each bringing their own unique perspectives — our interactions ranged from learning from the wise, sharing laughs with the funny, to engaging in endless gup-shup with the talkative. These relationships have not only enhanced my experience but also reshaped my journey through this program.
The Hiding Hand Of The Fellowship
One concept that has helped me navigate the transition was the ‘Hiding Hand’ theory. Initially, I was fixated on recreating the comforts of home — hot showers, flavourful food, and a relaxed pace. But I soon realised that clinging to these old comforts only heightened my frustration.
The ‘Hiding Hand’ taught me that adaptation comes from letting go of the desire for familiarity and embracing the new environment, no matter how different.
I understood that while the first few days were challenging and filled with unexpected difficulties, they have also been a time of growth and realisation. The support from fellow participants and the lessons from the induction process have reinforced my belief in the purpose of this journey. The ‘Hiding Hand’ concept has been instrumental in this transformation. It has motivated me to unlearn my preconceived notions about comfort and ease, and instead, embrace discomfort as a catalyst for growth.
This concept is helping me to think more critically about my expectations, act with resilience in the face of challenges, and reflect deeply on the purpose behind my commitment to grassroots work. By focusing on what I can learn and contribute rather than what I am missing, I found renewed motivation to adapt, grow, and fully engage with the unique opportunities that India Fellow offers.
The Warmth Of Unexpected Places
So, as I continued to navigate the cold showers and intermittent internet, I am learning that the journey is less about the comforts of home and more about finding warmth in unexpected places—like in the camaraderie of co-fellows and the satisfying crunch of a not-so-perfect aloo paratha.
And who knows? Maybe I’ll come out of this experience not just with professional growth but also with a newfound appreciation for the simple joys of bucket baths and offline life. Here’s to embracing the chaos and letting the ‘Hiding Hand’ guide me through the next chapters of this adventure. After all, if I can handle this, I can handle just about anything that comes my way!
Also read: The Principle Of Hiding Hand
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