In the grand bazaar of life, where thoughts clash like swords and wisdom is served with a side of chai, there exists a man, part philosopher, part poet, full-time enigma – Gian Kabuliwala.
His words are not just statements; they are revelations. They are the kind of sentences that make you pause mid-bite into your Kabuli, look into the distance, and question the meaning of existence, or at least the meaning of why Kabuli always taste better with Maggi Masala. So, without further ado, let’s dive into Kabuliwalaism where logic takes a break, and perspective does a somersault.
1. The Balance Of Life (a.k.a The Taraju Theory)
“Taraju ek hota hai, usme tulne wali chije anek hoti hai.”
Gian dropped this truth bomb while we were lazily discussing yesterday’s murder, casual small talk, you know. Life is a scale, he says – one balance, many weights. Some carry gold, some carry regrets, and some (like me) carry an extra-large portion of Labourline’s pamphlets.
2. The Great Mystery Of Marriage
“Maine apni shadi mai 4 fere liye hai. Phere 4 hi lete hai.”
This is a statement that defies logic, questions tradition, and still somehow makes complete sense in Gian’s world. Maybe he knows something the wedding pundits don’t. Maybe he invented an alternate marriage system where fewer rounds around the fire mean fewer rounds of arguments later.
3. The Unshakable Truth About Reputation
“Bura hu nahi, bura banaya jata hai.”
Ah, the misunderstood villain trope. Is Gian hinting at a deep societal commentary, or did someone just accuse him of stealing their last beedi? The world may never know.
4. The Dharti Chronicles
“Dharti ke andar pul bera behti hai samay anusar.”
I am not sure if this is geography, philosophy, or an upcoming Bollywood movie title. But if the earth has secret flowing bridges inside, then Gian is clearly operating at a level of intelligence that the rest of us mortals are yet to attain.
5. The Beedi Betrayal
“Bewafa yaar se beedi achi hai, dil jalati hai, lekin hoto tak to aati hai.”
This one deserves to be framed. Beedis might burn your lungs, but at least they don’t ghost you after years of togetherness. Take notes, heartbreak survivors.
6. The Numerical Wisdom
“Ungliya 5 hoti hai, ginti to 4 ki bhi achi hai.”
Mathematicians might frown, but Gian has spoken. Maybe counting in fours keeps life simpler. Or maybe it’s just an elegant way of saying – sometimes, you don’t need everything to be complete.
7. The Divine Canvas
“Ishwar ka putla hai, jispe jo rang chadh gaya, wo utarne wala nahi hai.”
God’s sculpture, once painted, stays painted. This could mean identity, destiny, or just the tragic reality of wearing a white kurta while eating raita in Kabuli.
8. The Ultimate Survival Motto
“Hum hai to koi gam nahi.”
If Gian were on the Titanic, he would’ve looked at the sinking ship, shrugged, and said this. This line isn’t just a statement – it’s a way of life. A reminder that as long as you exist, the world is still full of possibilities, and unclaimed beedis.
9. The Three Sacred Categories Of Sanskar
“Sanskar teen prakar ke hote hai. Jaldag, Vandag, Agandag.”
If there was ever a moment when the Vedas got an update, this was it. Jaldag, Vandag, and Agandag—three mystical categories that nobody fully understands, yet somehow, they make absolute sense. Is this about karma? Is this about human nature? Or is this about the different types of beedi smokers?
10. The Divine Customer Service System
“Dukh dekh kar hi ishwar manta hai.”
Basically, if life is going too well, don’t expect divine intervention. But the moment you stub your toe on the bedpost or run out of mobile data in the middle of an important call – boom, God notices you. Maybe suffering is just a ticket to getting divine customer support. Try calling after a breakup, and see if the universe suddenly gives you signs.
11. The Tangled Threads Of Destiny
“Shree Krishna nari ke kes mai base hai, agar kes kat gaye to abshagun ho jayega.”
Forget astrology – your fate apparently lies in your hair. If this is true, then every barber in the world is unknowingly playing with people’s destinies. The lesson? Treat your hair with respect. And maybe, just maybe, don’t get a drastic haircut before a big life event. You never know if Krishna is chilling in those strands. Also, if this logic applied universally, then bald people must be living life on expert mode.
12. The Enigma Of Nari vs. Purush
“Nari ki 32 dhara hoti hai, par purush ki 1 hi dhara.”
This could be about energy, complexity, or the simple fact that women multitask like superheroes while men struggle to find their socks in the morning.
Women = 32 streams of thought, emotions, and strategies running at once.
Men = One single-track focus, usually on food or sleep.
Gian said it, not me.
Gian Kabuliwala speaks in riddles, metaphors, and an occasional frustrated sigh at the world’s foolishness. Whether he’s a sage, a poet, or just someone who enjoys confusing people – it doesn’t really matter. Because one thing is certain – his words stick with you. Somewhere in his surreal statements, we find pieces of wisdom, bits of humor, and reminders that life is best understood with a bit of absurdity.
So, next time you find yourself overthinking life, just take a deep breath and say – “Sansar sagar hai.”
Craving a plate of kabuli, a puff of beedi, and a side of philosophy that’ll make you question your entire existence? Swing by Gian Kabuliwala at Jodhpur Sangariya Bypass – where the food is hearty, the smoke is steady, and the wisdom is endless!
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