Inside Out: Reflections From A Human Process Lab

I could feel my face burning, pain in my throat and I knew what was coming next. As tears filled my eyes, I tried to control my emotions in a room full of people. The fear and anxiety took over me as I was afraid of speaking up for myself. Growing up I always heard, don’t cry as that’s not how you win a fight. Win your fights through logic, arguments, instead of tears.

Sometimes, it’s difficult to pinpoint the emotion you are feeling, so do we cry because we are angry or we are angry so we cry?

Recently, I was part of a Human Process Lab where I was confronted with varied emotions. It made me more self aware about what I am feeling and why. Human Process Lab is a 5 day lab where a group of 8 to 10 people come together along with 2 facilitators. The purpose is to understand their behavioural patterns and how they impact others. The process of what, why and how was difficult for sure but it made me more aware and left me with lots of questions to ponder upon.

Being “Here And Now”

“Here & Now” was emphasised by the facilitators constantly in driving the conversations. Accordingly the focus on being ‘here and now’ instead of ‘then and there’ grounded the group in the present. Hence focus on what they were feeling at that moment opened the space for more raw conversations. Afterwards group connected in the here and now, we were able to move together as a dynamic group which helped us in forging connections. It is important to know that we can connect together only in the present.

The Dance Of “Trust And Fear”

Another process of trust and fear we tussle with on a constant basis in moments of self disclosure.The questions that we ask whether I spoke too much or should I ask this run on a daily basis in our internal monologue. The fear of judgment puts too much pressure on us as individuals. It comes in the way of sharing and holding out a hand to another person which can foster mutual trust. Trust and fear are intricately related as both are dependent on each other. One needs trust to feel safe and to keep fear away.

There was a moment in the lab where I felt disclosing too much might attract judgment but taking that leap of faith is important. 

The Shifting Dynamic Of Power

Power became one of the key processes through which the interaction played out among the people. One of the main perceptions that got challenged was that people who speak up more hold a considerable amount of power. The people who were holding back from speaking up also held a lot of power in their silence. This emotional restraint to maintain control is conditioned so deeply that expression of it means giving up one’s own power or authority. This holds back people from making genuine connections and fostering relationships.

There is powerless anger that comes when people are not heard and it comes out in moments when they are cornered. It’s important to give people the space to express themselves without labelling or putting them in boxes of being too angry, overly emotional and so on. Let’s ask the person what made them feel that way and modify our responses.

The Shadow That Follows Us Silently

There is an interesting concept of shadow that I got introduced to in one of the sessions. Carl Jung proposed the concept of “Shadow self” to describe things that people repress or do not like to acknowledge. Our fears and insecurities or those unpleasant memories we dump in the back of our mind never really get lost. They are collected in our shadow that follows us everywhere. At times we behave in a manner that makes us think, Oh I don’t behave like that, what got into me today? That’s our shadow that speaks for us when we cant.

Embracing the shadow is important to accept ourselves irrespective of how ashamed we are of certain parts about us. One needs to harness it effectively to recognise blindspots of our psyche. This one step can close the gap between shadow and real self.

Balancing Emotions

I am reminded of an animated film Inside Out that remains my favourite on exploring emotions like no other. The film explores the poignant human emotions that coexist within us. Various emotions like Joy, Fear, Sadness, Anger, Envy, Anxiety are portrayed in beautiful manner depicting how they make us humane. The human process lab was another reminder from the film that all these emotions can make us act without thinking as a means of protecting ourselves.

The film touches upon the main theme of how all of these emotions are integral to us. We need to embrace them all- even the negative ones. All emotions are interlinked and suppressing some emotions can take a person far away from their authentic self. In the lab, all these emotions were on display that emphasises complexity of emotions and how intricately one is linked to the other.

Work In Process

Our experiences, attitudes, expectations are all shaped by the people we meet, situations and life itself. The five days of lab were very difficult for me emotionally. I realized that as individuals we carry so much hurt, anger, disappointment that we forget to love. The meaning of love has become so transactional that we forget that love is the easiest thing in the world to give and accept.