The Hidden Empowerment

Badi Talab, Madar – The hidden story beyond the usual narrative

On a sunny day, I find myself standing on a winding lane that leads me to the village. It occurs to me that it is the last day. “Last day for what”, you might ask. The last day to walk down those lanes. The last day for questions and answers. The last day for Raabdi & Adrak Chai. The last day to experience the beauty of this village … the day to say goodbye!

Every time I visited Madar, (only 4 times in total) a small village located on the outskirts of Udaipur, Rajasthan, I returned with a new purpose, challenge and incentive. Every purpose came from the requirements stated for the India Fellow Induction Training. Every challenge sprouted from my own inhibitions and mental blocks. Every incentive came from the need to know more about this village. With each passing day, it became easier to communicate. While walking down the lanes of Madar, I observed several moments. Men sitting on the pedestal of a tiny temple and chatting. Children running in all directions to play. Every man, woman and child bowing down to welcome us. Cows following the clicking sound of the cattle herder. The beautiful paintings outside houses where weddings have recently been conducted. The large banyan trees that provided shade to the entire lane with its branches spread out and gave life to interactive spaces. These were the surroundings I had gotten used to, but at the same time, it was something new to me.

As me and my team mates (co-fellows) walked down the lane to meet our objective of talking to women in the community in order to understand their view about their own occupation and financial status in the society, we made strategies to ensure that we get the required information. We went our own ways to cover more area and then I realized that sometimes the objective approaches you even before you reach out to it. This happened as a group of women walked towards me out of curiosity.

They tried to ask questions in their dialect of Hindi mixed with their local language and I tried to respond in my broken Hindi. Although, some conversations do not require any language and those are the ones that stay with you for a long time.

I talked to various women from different areas, backgrounds and occupations. *Meena Suthar a middle aged woman, from Patel community (upper caste) of Madar owns a small sewing set up in a corner close to the bus stop. The space is shared with one of her friends who sells bangles and beauty products to local women. Meena is a self-made woman who works with Sadhna, a social enterprise, stitching intricate designs on kurtas. While talking to us, she would make funny comments looking at her friend and laugh at some of our questions. She gave us a lot of information without any hesitation. As she talked about her daughters, her daily life, husband and what she enjoys doing with the money earned, she continued to stitch.

Meena thought highly of her occupation and did not see it just as a means of livelihood but also as something she enjoys doing. It was expressed to us by the fact that even though her husband was in-charge of finances, she felt empowered by being able to contribute.

Then there was *Parvati, a middle aged woman from Bhil community (lower caste) who lives in Bhilwada Basti located at the end of the village on a higher contoured area. She was a bit hesitant and quiet. When I greeted her, she covered her eyes by pulling her Ghoonghat forward. Parvati had a soft tone. She spoke to me carefully. Once I nudged her with a few questions and nodded to comfort her, she started telling me about her work at her husband’s farm. In a few minutes, the husband came out to see what was going on and I saw her shrinking in behind the doorway. The situation made her really conscious. She completely stopped talking and the man started speaking on her behalf!

In a few minutes, the husband came out to see what was going on and I saw her shrinking in behind the doorway. The situation made her really conscious. She completely stopped talking and the man started speaking on her behalf!

*Nalini is a woman with small stature. One could see her weakness and age. She was hardly able to hear me but still managed to tell that she wasn’t working anymore due to her health condition. I realized that she’s tired. We let silence take over the space we were sharing. It became a point of interaction between us. Her tired eyes, wrinkled and withered skin spoke of long days that were past her. The posture expressed the pain in her knees. Her silence resonated with me. She seemed to concentrate on her husband’s responses and did not seem willing to talk. As the skies became darker and the kids of Bhil community led the way to bus stop, I was overwhelmed by the conversations I had with women. Their stories varied from each street, lane and community to another. With every conversation, I knew a bit more about the village but also realized how much more there is to find out. The complexity of the social structure of this village was much bigger than the village itself.

While walking back, we met a few women sitting, talking and laughing near the common space of the village. They approached us and asked, “Arre aapka survey ho gaya?”. We said yes. It is at that moment that I met *Sumati, a tall, lean, young and beautiful woman. She is a mother of two (a boy and a girl), a seamstress and also the only breadwinner of the family. Her husband could not work for various health reasons. She introduced herself and gave a genuine, warm smile. Sumati looked excited to talk to me. Once we greeted each other, I understood that her son (*Manish) had told her about us and asked her permission to get us to their home.

After a lot of insistence from her, I found myself following her to her green little house with niches filled with sequenced Ghaghras and Dupattas. I rested my back on the Charpai while talking to children. Manish was speaking while *Juhi was trying to do her Hindi homework, looking at us from time to time. Once Sumati sat down, we spoke about everything – our origins, families, her work, her husband, two beautiful children, financial condition, leisure activities, interests, love for work and many more. She went on to show me her beautiful stitching and I asked her to teach me as well to which she held me with her palm resting on my shoulder and said, “Kyun nahi?”

Sumati is a strong young woman who had stepped up to ensure education for both her children while working not just for the sake of earning money but to also enjoy what she does. The tragedy of her husband’s accident empowered her in many ways, unaware.

After a cup of chai and a lot of chatting with children and the woman, we knew it was time to go but before that we decided to take a picture. She hugged me and said that I’ll not be forgotten. I had made a friend!

The women in this village were of different class, caste, occupation and were facing distinct challenges but they were united because of their strength. They are challenging the norms of the society on a daily basis and are becoming an equal provider. They are crossing boundaries without even being aware of the boundaries. On the way, we said our farewells to everyone who directed us to the bus stop. We spoke about coming back and I realized that this wasn’t a goodbye!

*Names changed to protect identity