Double Standards Of Ageing

In one of my sessions with 8th graders, a girl came up with a thought-provoking question,

“Why do we celebrate the start of menstruation but not when it stops?”

This inquiry revealed the way society views—and frequently ignores—the various phases of a woman’s life. We usually welcome menstruation as a sign of a girl’s transition into womanhood. However, there is often silence surrounding menopause, a significant life transition. The older girls, especially those in the eighth and ninth grade, are particularly aware of this gap since they know that their mothers and grandmothers have stopped menstruating.

They ask, “why is it expected that women conceal their periods from men?” 

“Why do some women stop bleeding?”

“Why do we often avoid conversations about menstruation and menopause at home?”

These questions reveal their acute awareness of the differences in how society treats these stages.

Also read: Tika: The First Menstruation

Taboo Topics

When people keep these subjects secret or make them taboo, curiosity naturally develops. The older girls’ questions about why menstruation remains secret from men and why menopause isn’t celebrated reveal their growing interest in the silence surrounding these aspects of women’s lives. Their curiosity reflects a desire to understand and find meaning in experiences that society often ignores or marginalises.

Reflecting on my personal experiences, I see how the silence surrounding menopause has shaped my initial understanding of womanhood. I knew very little about my mother’s menstrual cycle when I was growing up. She hardly ever talked about or showed signs of having menstruation difficulties, and she never openly discussed menopause. Though I did not fully understand it at the time, my mother handled these significant transitions of ageing with such quiet strength that it had a profound effect on me.

I didn’t realise how important this silence was until I started working in the field of menstrual health and hygiene. It was impressive to see how resiliently my mother managed these changes, but it also brought attention to a larger tendency to minimise and under-appreciate the importance of life stages. 

When the older girls ask why society doesn’t celebrate menopause and why menstruation is often hidden from men, I explain that society’s focus on reproductive capability devalues women once they pass that phase. That, menopause should be celebrated for its significance: it marks a shift to a different kind of power, grounded in wisdom, self-awareness, and emotional resilience.

Turning 26: A Reflection on Ageing

Last month, I turned 26 and it got me thinking about how I feel about getting older. I discovered that I was more afraid of growing older and hesitant to deal with it. Why did this happen? Susan Sontag’s seminal essay, Susan Sontag’s seminal essay, The Double Standard of Ageing, provides some answers. According to Sontag, women in this society receive even less benefits from growing older than do men. Physical attractiveness is far more important to women than it is to men, but beauty, when associated with youth, is not a quality that ages well. This observation deeply resonates with me, especially as I consider how social classes perceive ageing differently.

Sontag’s analysis illustrates the differences in ageing that occur based on social class. Social class has an impact on age as well. Rich people tend to look older much later in life than poor people do. However, middle-class and wealthy women experience anxiety about ageing more frequently and more severely than do working-class women. In urban settings, I witness this dynamic in my own life and with my friends. 

The Role Of Social Class

Wealthier women, equipped with the means to pursue cosmetic procedures, premium healthcare, and lavish lifestyles, often find themselves in a unique position regarding societal expectations around ageing. The abundance of resources can create an intensified pressure to maintain a youthful appearance, as they may feel that their worth is closely tied to how they look. This pressure can lead to a cycle of anxiety about ageing. As they age, these women might perceive a diminishing societal value, worrying that their attractiveness—and thus their relevance—declines over time.

Women from lower-income backgrounds, on the other hand, might have a different perspective on ageing. Their inability to afford medical procedures and cosmetics to counteract ageing may result in a different attitude toward ageing, one that is more accepting of ageing as a normal aspect of life and less focused on social criticism. My findings are consistent with Sontag’s finding that women who look young for the longest are frequently the ones who experience age’s defeat the most acutely.

I observe a sharp contrast between these experiences and the lives of tribal women in the area where I work. Due to their restricted access to contemporary resources and traditional beliefs, tribal women confront particular difficulties. Their culture deeply interconnects their menstrual and menopausal experiences with customs and rituals. Different values and social support networks shape these life stages, even though they might not have the same access to resources and information as urban women.

Society’s View On Women And Their Position

The way we see women at different stages of their lives speaks to deeper social issues regarding women’s status in society. The societal tendency to celebrate menarche and ignore menopause points to a persistent undervaluing of women’s experiences as they age. This wider societal perspective reinforces the notion that women lose value once they reach childbearing age by equating a woman’s worth with her ability to procreate and her youth.

Cultural narratives often emphasise fertility and the ability to procreate, overshadowing the strength and wisdom that come with age. Instead of seeing menopause as a fresh start, society often portrays it as the end of reproductive potential. The general societal trends that place a premium on youth and beauty—particularly in the media and popular culture—add to this undervaluation. Sontag noted that this situation leads to women receiving fewer rewards for ageing compared to men. The social emphasis on maintaining a youthful appearance and the taboo around menopause both point to a hidden prejudice that diminishes the life experience and wisdom of older women.

Reframing Menstruation And Menopause

This silence surrounding menopause mirrors my own upbringing. Many women, like my mother, navigate this transition with resilience and dignity, even though society rarely acknowledges or celebrates it. When I share this perspective with the girls in my sessions, their reactions often reveal how empowering menopause can be.

I try to encourage the girls in my classes to see menopause and menstruation as important and empowering life transitions. It’s a time to prioritise one’s interests, physical health, and general well-being. Menopause should be celebrated as a transition, highlighting personal growth, wisdom, and self-fulfilment in a woman’s life journey. Reframing discussions about women ageing and menstruation helps dismantle stereotypes and fosters a deeper understanding of the diverse experiences of womanhood. As girls recognise the unique strengths and fulfilment in each chapter of womanhood, transforming their views on menstruation and menopause.